Energy.

I’m tired today.  I’ve slept badly the last few nights, probably because I’m hormonal.  And now my eyes are sore – my contact lenses end up feeling like they’re full of sand by the end of the day – I have a pretty bad headache, and my tummy isn’t happy at all.

Everything seems to take so much energy.  Never before have I had to pat myself on the back for achieving the simplest of things.  But everything just takes so much energy.  Walking the dog through the park full of babies and children and pushchairs takes energy.  Making dinner takes energy.  Doing the cleaning takes energy. Getting dressed takes energy.  Washing my hair takes so much energy.  Even driving the car takes energy, particularly when I have to sit and watch people walking past with their pushchairs and prams, and when I see the big round shades stuck to the inside of car windows, sometimes with some sort of cartoon figure emblazoned on it – ‘that’s there to protect the baby inside the car from the sun’, I think to myself – ‘I don’t need those’, I think, ‘because I don’t have a baby in my car’.

I’m still going to go to the gym today.  I’ll do cardio, and then my class, even though I really don’t feel like it, because I know I’d only end up regretting not going, and regret is a tiring emotion.

It’s all so tiring.

 

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