I am the mother of a little girl, and a little boy, both of whom were taken before they took a breath on earth. I have a Beagle called Arthur who tries his best to substitute, and a husband who must love me more than I can describe, (other than by saying that he cleans without me asking him to, and never, ever says anything mean to me).
My baby girl arrived at almost 19 weeks, and of course, did not survive. A year later, my baby boy – Freddie – arrived at almost 25 weeks. One week after the fluid that babies need so vitally, had left him, Freddie passed away, and was born not long afterwards. My love for them both will never wither. My very being is fractured by the loss of my babies. It is difficult to write and will be difficult for many of you to read. This is my narrative.
Monthly Archives: July 2011
It’s been just over 4 months since Freddie was born asleep. I still can’t bear to see a pregnant woman. I still can’t bear to look at most babies – some are more difficult to acknowledge than others. I still … Continue reading
On Saturday I spent two and a half hours sprawled on my front, lying on the bed crying. I could feel it coming as soon as I got in the car to go home on Friday, when we broke up … Continue reading
Well. Where to start. The last few weeks have been really busy, and I’ve really enjoyed being back at school. A couple of people have really looked after me and I’ve appreciated it so much – if my workplace was … Continue reading
Sometimes, even the things which seem to be ‘easy’, take so much from you that you’re left barely awake. Perhaps it’s because I woke up at 5.40 this morning, or perhaps it’s because I’ve been doing different things recently, but … Continue reading
Today I should be in the hospital with my bag packed full of maternity briefs and nappies and all the things that you and I would need. Today your daddy and I should have been able to welcome you into … Continue reading