Author Archives: Abbie

Being tired and wearing hats.

Sometimes, even the things which seem to be ‘easy’, take so much from you that you’re left barely awake.  Perhaps it’s because I woke up at 5.40 this morning, or perhaps it’s because I’ve been doing different things recently, but … Continue reading

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Today.

Today I should be in the hospital with my bag packed full of maternity briefs and nappies and all the things that you and I would need. Today your daddy and I should have been able to welcome you into … Continue reading

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Time, flux and vegetables.

I think sometimes about the timing of everything; how quickly things can change, and how sometimes a few days can seem like months. On the day I went into hospital, it was Comic Relief.  The dog had escaped in the … Continue reading

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The real world…

For various reasons, I’ve decided that I’m going to go back to work before summer.  I had hoped to start back the week before school breaks up, and spend the week mostly catching up on everything.  It doesn’t look like … Continue reading

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Rage.

I’m trying very hard this time not to be so angry.  But sometimes I can’t help it.  I become consumed by the gut-wrenching, blood-boiling fury that this has happened to us.  That this is now the path of our lives.  … Continue reading

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Due date looming.

Due date. As recently as 20 years ago, some doctors wouldn’t permit a mother to see her stillborn baby for fear that it would make her go crazy.  Many people (particularly the older generation, I’ve found) still don’t understand all … Continue reading

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(un)Happy Father’s Day.

Not much to say really.

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Names.

12 weeks ago, Freddie was born. Sometimes it catches me strangley when someone else says my baby’s name; ‘Freddie’.  I’m not sure why.  There’s a millisecond where it’s as if I am caught in an impalpable web of that name; … Continue reading

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Energy.

I’m tired today.  I’ve slept badly the last few nights, probably because I’m hormonal.  And now my eyes are sore – my contact lenses end up feeling like they’re full of sand by the end of the day – I … Continue reading

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Administration problems and orderliness.

I just had a memory of when the midwife phoned me a few days after I’d got out of hospital.  I’d already spoken to one lady for her to arrange a time to come over, but we were busy with … Continue reading

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